Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Full of Emotion

I have decided to start blogging again.  It has been a few years and a lot has happened.  I am so full of emotion and crazy ideas I need to get them down.  I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with a miracle and I still can't wrap my brain around it.  I look in the mirror at my body in disbelief, yet when I feel my baby move I am full of wonder and amazement.  I want to share my life and all the blessings and crazy that I have been blessed with.  I feel like that someday I will write a book about it, but until then blogging is a platform I will try and use. 

Like I said I am pregnant.  After 13 years of trying and dying we finally did it.  It was a seriously unbelievable journey with loss that was hard, but looking back things had to happen before our baby came to us.  They always say, "hindsight is 20/20."  I have found myself so full of emotion and many of them are conflicting.  I am so grateful, happy and in a state of wonder.  At the same time I am fearful, in denial and I can't believe this is happening.  With all this add the pregnancy hormones and I am a basket case.  I have an ultrasound pic of my baby on my phone and I burst into tears every time I see it.  My heart is ready to burst especially when I feel and see her move.  She is amazing, unreal, miracle, out of reach, and so close.  I am terrified and excited.  I am seriously a mess and I love it!

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