Throughout this pregnancy, I have tried to continue to do the usual things I normally do and not ask for any help. I really do have a hard time asking anyway. In the beginning of the pregnancy Clint would really get mad at me tell me to get him if I needed help. For example, lifting McKaylan in and out of the car and then her wheelchair. It has never been difficult for me, and it wasn't in the beginning either. Clint would get so frustrated and finally said to me one day, "If you lose this baby it will not be my fault!" There were other confrontations and I didn't understand why he was getting so upset. Finally, in a moment of calm we talked about it and he said that we were having a baby and this was new for him. I just laughed it off and said we have had babies before and that we have had up to 9 kids! What was the problem??? He said that this is MY first baby. We have never had a baby together. I have never been pregnant with him! This was a new experience for him. I never had really thought about it that way. So I have since then dialed it down a bit. Asked for help more (sort of). It is soooo hard for me!
So, yes and crazy as it sounds, it is true. My husband is a wonderful father. We have had many children in our home that we have loved and lost. This is the first time that he has fathered a child and has experienced being an expectant dad. He has been so attentive and amazing through this whole process. Now that we are at the end of this I am having a very hard time doing anything including walking. He is right there by my side helping me, getting things for me, even pulling/carrying me to where I need to go. He is my protector, defender, my forever knight in shining armor. I love him and this pregnancy journey has added another layer of unconditional love in our marriage. Probably a layer we would not have without going through this experience. Again, I am humbled and amazed at the love my Heavenly Father has for me and the incredible blessings he has granted me and my family.
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